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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30062064">Think of Me; Once in a While</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarby/pseuds/sugarby'>sugarby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Code Geass</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bittersweet, Canon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, Gen, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Movie: Code Geass: Lelouch of the Re;surrection, Post-Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion R2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:28:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,479</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30062064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarby/pseuds/sugarby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Suzaku swallows thickly and his throat stays dry, "A-Are you?"</p><p>"An illusion is a trick of the eyes, played by the heart. That being said," Lelouch reaches through the darkness of the cell for Suzaku's hand, clasping it firmly in his own and soothing the trembling with a caressing thumb. "If I'm an illusion, it only means you've missed me far too much."</p><p>(Or somewhat of an alteration to the way they unexpectedly reunite).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kururugi Suzaku &amp; Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia, Kururugi Suzaku/Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Think of Me; Once in a While</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <span class="small"> Had this since I saw the third film last year. I've missed CG. Every now and then, I think of something for my OG OTP and it makes me so happy! ❤</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="small">Title is from 'Think of Me' from <em>The Phantom of The Opera</em>. Going through the lyrics, I feel like it's such a perfect song for these two ❤（ ´∀｀）.</span>
</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite his exhaustion, Suzaku staggers to his feet and moves across the concrete floor of his makeshift cell toward the ghost of the friend he once knew. Just lounging along the window ledge casually like a framed, fairytale prince introducing himself before the streams of moonlight. His lips keep moving and his voice continues to fill the room even when a finger invades his space to poke his cheek; the doctor's given assessment of Suzaku Kururgi's state continues to be relaye dword for word.</p><p>Suzaku holds it in place. Pale and cold but a beat of a pulse running underneath. Subtle but unmistakable. This can't be real and yet it is; unless C.C.'s well controlled emotions have run the last of their stability and lead her to reconstruct a lifelike figure of the eleventh prince. Plus, Suzaku has hallucinated plenty in his short-lived life as well.</p><p>"Lelouch, is it...really you?"</p><p>The man claiming to be in appearance and way of speaking chuckles, "Why, do I look like an illusion to you?"</p><p>Just the way that voice spreads a billion familiar goosebumps running along Suzaku's skin is too much. If this is a nightmare, it's realistically cruel. If this is a dream, it's bittersweet. If it's neither and he in fact hasn't lost everything...it's too good to be true.</p><p>He wants the truth but knows he can never be sure he'll get it—that he <em>even wants it</em> half the time.</p><p>Suzaku swallows thickly and his throat stays dry. "A-Are you?"</p><p>"An illusion is a trick of the eyes, played by the heart. That being said," Lelouch reaches through the darkness of the cell for Suzaku's hand, clasping it firmly in his own and soothing the trembling with a caressing thumb. "If I'm an illusion, it only means you've missed me far too much."</p><p>And how unfair and twisted is that? That the boy who grew up knowing little about truths and how to be truthful is so capable of detecting it in other people?</p><p>That a man whose face could not always be seen can so easily see through another's.</p><p>This moment feels wrong; like it isn't deserved and yet...also like how they should be: together and alive.</p><p>Of the many things Suzaku wants to do right now, two are prominent. Lelouch has always and probably always forever will put him in two minds even over the simplest scenarios, like how he ought to feel an overwhelming amount of relief and joy that his best friend is alive. That he should listen to the side of him wanting to pick Lelouch up and spin him around the room.</p><p>Lelouch tilts his head just so and offers the softest of smiles like he used to when he felt sympathetic over someone's shortcomings.</p><p>Rage barges to the forefront of Suzaku's mind; he punches Lelouch across the jaw. </p><p>Lelouch knocks back into the steel bars down the window and braces for the next hit—</p><p>C.C. uses all of her strength to haul Suzaku away, ever the loyal shield to a once demon emperor.</p><hr/><p>The day is almost completely gone when they meet again, a fresh sunset leaving for way of a full moon.</p><p>"Looks nasty," are the first words from Suzaku after he climbs a tower and stands nearby him, leaning over the railings and looking over everyone. </p><p>Lelouch balances the device playing the wedding reception video on one hand to touch his jaw with his other. He looks as if he had forgotten about it entirely and already moved on; he had, in a way, as a moment with a dearly missed friend felt like a lifetime and a petty, deserved punch was the least of their problems. "Courtesy of the Knight of Seven."</p><p>"You deserved it." </p><p>They both know that.</p><p>Lelouch sighs without any real tiredness or irritation to it. "You know, most people," He touches the screen of the device, replacing one video with another to play. "When they haven't seen an old friend in a while, they invite them to dinner."</p><p>"Most people are luck enough not to know you."</p><p>"That's fair," Lelouch chuckles, aware that he isn't the easiest person to invite into one's world. Getting to know him requires unlocking, or bypassing, several strong doors first, like everything about him is one, deadly mystery.</p><p>It's fair but maybe it's cruel too, Suzaku considers to himself. He didn't mean that he regrets knowing Lelouch, not for a single second. It's just always been turbulent. Even the way they met up on this tower; it wasn't a cheesy written note or eager tug of a hand, but a swift tug of a shirt collar—their signal dating back to the very beginning.</p><p>Suzaku says fondly, "Some things never change." in retrospect of them.</p><p>"<em>On the contrary</em>, for once I wasn't surprised to find that you hadn't forgotten our old signal from when we were kids."</p><p>"<em>Please</em>, you'd give me hell for it if I did."</p><p>Lelouch shakes his head, "Now that I've seen hell for myself, I promise I would do no such thing."</p><p>"One minute you make a 'promise', the next I'm wearing a flashy costume." Suzaku laughs.</p><p>A promise with Lelouch always felt more like a contract anyhow, like it wasn't a favour between friends but something to be fulfilled between two partners—all official and business like. Even the small agreement of loaning Suzaku money for lunch became this whole, big thing one time!</p><p>"You're different, Lelouch."</p><p>"That's what I keep hearing. Is that a bad thing?"</p><p>"Just noticing, is all. You're quieter."</p><p>"And you're more honest. In saying what you're really thinking, I mean."</p><p>"Yeah." Suzaku has had to play his role silently, so being able to speak freely to the person he's closest too is a big deal. It's like he's living right now as himself, the boy named Suzaku Kururugi being granted a pass to the realm above the dead. "You'll get used to it."</p><p>"Suzaku, I'm not staying.”</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"My place in this world is gone."</p><p>"But <em>you're Zero</em>! I mean, you <em>can</em> be again. I was just the placeholder."</p><p>"Zero isn't a <em>person</em>. He became symbol that belongs to the world, and in honor of the Zero Requiem, of our bond, Suzaku, it's you who fills the role now."</p><p>"Should've known you'd throw that in my face."</p><p>"What do you expect? You can't seriously think that my coming back means we can just pick up where we left off.”</p><p>Suzaku stares, horrified. Can't they? "Lelouch, we've...<em>I've</em> missed you! Doesn't that count for <em>anything</em>?!"</p><p>Lelouch wordlessly starts another video and the bright colour and liveliness from it illuminates his indifferent mask.</p><p>"Doesn't it make you <em>feel</em> something?"</p><p><em>'And if it does, so what?'</em> Lelouch wonders, using his silence to neither confirm or deny the truth. He calmly, simply says that, "We can't go back."</p><p>To livelier days at Ashford Academy. To the peace that was before the fighting started. They can't return to any of it. It's wishful thinking for the naïve, young and hopeful; it was the way they were before age and war made them wiser.</p><p>Suzaku tenderly touches Lelouch's hand that's closest, "That doesn't mean you have to leave again. You said I'm more honest. Well I honestly think that the world is lonelier and less interesting without you."</p><p>Lelouch smiles a bit, grateful and sympathetic, "For me, it's the other way around."</p><p>"You were fine with or without me."</p><p>"I prefer the former. Does that make <em>you</em> feel <em>something</em>, Suzaku?"</p><p>While Suzaku opens his mouth for a reply he hasn't fully figured out in his own head yet, just so eager to keep the lifeline of their conversation going, Arthur meows and struts between his legs. He has a knack for showing up out of nowhere. Suzaku sighs and gives him a stern look, his silent way of scolding a creature too cute and thus immune to feeling guilty.</p><p>"I've missed you too, Arthur," Lelouch says sweetly, crouching to pick her up and invite her to lay in his arms. She meows happily. "Suzaku, do you believe in fate?"</p><p>"Do you?"</p><p>"It's not whether I do or don't. Just believing it exists, regardless of in whose favour, is enough. We were apart for seven years and thought we'd never see each other again. Everything was against us but something...something brought us back together."</p><p>Suzaku looks at the two of them, wondering if luck will bless them a second time.</p><p>"You only have to think of me, Suzaku." is another promise Lelouch is making to him, "Once in a while, and I'll be right there with you." and though it hurts to put his heart on the line and believe him, to imagine that tonight<em> isn't</em> chapter one of their goodbye, Suzaku takes his word for it.</p>
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